“When your chest aches and your head is swimming with all of your faults and
all of your flaws and you can’t seem to find your footing, remember that the
fear is a liar. That you have been here before, and you will breathe again.
Remember that you are enough. ALWAYS ENOUGH.” ~ Joshua
You’re not depressed because you still laugh at jokes that are funny, you still
smile watching cute baby videos, you enjoy good music, you dance and
appreciate and live. But when it’s all dark and lonely you feel that there’s
something broken inside of you, there’s this sweet sadness that is ready to
engulf you and you start crying. And you put yourself to sleep wishing and
praying that everything’s gonna be fine. And on some mornings you don’t
wanna get ready and be all happy and want to give up and it’s okay!!
It’s okay to give up and be all sad and mourn for things you lost and things
you couldn’t do. Grieve, for it’s your moment. Feel the pain, feel the
emptiness, feel the loneliness because when you’ll stop feeling it that is when
it will actually be over. Don’t cut out on the lows for if you don’t feel the cold
you won’t know how beautiful warmth is.
I once saw a movie and I got stuck up on one dialogue and My mind still is
stuck on it. It was,”Our hope is if we add up the one mores they will equal a
lifetime, and we will never have to get to the part where we will have to let go
of things we love.” But that’s not real, is it? There are no more one mores.
And I know it’s not easy because sometimes to honor your wishes you have
dishonor your memories. A million unanswered questions, sleepless and
restless nights where you stare at the ceiling wanting to cry and wanting to feel just something, mornings where you wake up but reality doesn’t change and you realize that it isn’t a dream, it’s difficult.
Crying listening to the old songs and hating the emotions that you once loved
feeling. Remembering all those little moments you had and accepting that now
things are gone. It’s terrifying. And sometimes you hold onto the hope so tight
that you keep it in your heart, buried, because that’s all that you got.
"It’s not the same, it’ll never be the same. No matter of how big or small your pain is, it is important and it matters."
"But you gotta feel it all because the one way is letting it all out.
Writing it all I realized that I’m the biggest hypocrite of all because feeling weak and crying is something that I couldn’t control but did. I’m gonna let it go too but I’m not going to complain because it doesn’t matter if you drown in a 7 m deep pool or a 70000 m deep ocean, u’re gonna die out of drowning. So stop comparing pains or sorrows.
Let us start from ourselves and feel everything to the fullest. Love the people
that treat you right and let go of the ones who don’t. If you get a chance, TAKE
IT. If it changes your life, LET IT. It’s not gonna be easy but it will be WORTH
IT and let’s make GRATITUDE greater than REGRET.
By: ~Jahanvi Bhola