Decode The Mysterious Misery

By: Jahanvi

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“When your chest aches and your head is swimming with all of your faults and

all of your flaws and you can’t seem to find your  footing, remember that the

fear is a liar. That you have been here before, and you will breathe again.

Remember that you are enough. ALWAYS ENOUGH.” ~ Joshua

You’re not depressed because you still laugh at jokes that are funny, you still

smile watching cute baby videos, you enjoy good music, you dance and

appreciate and live. But when it’s all dark and lonely you feel that there’s

something broken inside of you, there’s this sweet sadness that is ready to

engulf you and you start crying. And you put yourself to sleep wishing and

praying that everything’s gonna be fine. And on some mornings you don’t

wanna get ready and be all happy and want to give up and it’s okay!!

It’s okay to give up and be all sad and mourn for things you lost and things

you couldn’t do. Grieve, for it’s your moment. Feel the pain, feel the

emptiness, feel the loneliness because when you’ll stop feeling it that is when

it will actually be over. Don’t cut out on the lows for if you don’t feel the cold

you won’t know how beautiful warmth is.

I once saw a movie and I got stuck up on one dialogue and My mind still is

stuck on it. It was,”Our hope is if we add up the one mores they will equal a

lifetime, and we will never have to get to the part where we will have to let go

of things we love.” But that’s not real, is it? There are no more one mores.

And I know it’s not easy because sometimes to honor your wishes you have

dishonor your memories. A million unanswered questions, sleepless and

restless nights where you stare at the ceiling wanting to cry and wanting to feel just something, mornings where you wake up but reality doesn’t change and you realize that it isn’t a dream, it’s difficult.

Crying listening to the old songs and hating the emotions that you once loved

feeling. Remembering all those little moments you had and accepting that now

things are gone. It’s terrifying. And sometimes you hold onto the hope so tight

that you keep it in your heart, buried, because that’s all that you got.

"It’s not the same, it’ll never be the same. No matter of how big or small your pain is, it is important and it matters."

"But you gotta feel it all because the one way is letting it all out.

Writing it all I realized that I’m the biggest hypocrite of all because feeling weak and crying is something that I couldn’t control but did. I’m gonna let it go too but I’m not going to complain because it doesn’t matter if you drown in a 7 m deep pool or a 70000 m deep ocean, u’re gonna die out of drowning. So stop comparing pains or sorrows.

Let us start from ourselves and feel everything to the fullest. Love the people

that treat you right and let go of the ones who don’t. If you get a chance, TAKE

IT. If it changes your life, LET IT. It’s not gonna be easy but it will be WORTH

IT and let’s make GRATITUDE greater than REGRET.

By: ~Jahanvi Bhola